{"id":744,"date":"2005-01-25T16:53:00","date_gmt":"2005-01-25T16:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/2005\/01\/25\/happy-robbie-burns-day-or-my-firs\/"},"modified":"2016-10-29T05:51:17","modified_gmt":"2016-10-29T05:51:17","slug":"happy-robbie-burns-day-or-my-firs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/2005\/01\/25\/happy-robbie-burns-day-or-my-firs\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Robbie Burns Day — or My First Nosing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today is Robbie Burns Day, (or Rabbie, as the truly enllightened insist) celebrated by Scots and wanna-be’s (like me) around the world. Or so I’m told by various Burns’ sites on the Internet, see here<\/a> and here.<\/a><\/p>\n

Now, I’m not a Scot. I’m more Irish than anything else, but I do like Scotch whiskey. So a few years ago, when I was invited to a “nosing” to celebrate the Bard’s birthday, I accepted. It sounded like a good idea. At least, once I discovered that a nosing was a whiskey tasting.<\/a> It sounded even better when they told me it was going to be held in a used golfing equipment store in Toronto. What a great atmosphere. Celebrating the world’s greatest game by standing around drinking whiskey and swapping golf stories.<\/p>\n

The format was simple. There were about 35 of us invited, and we each tossed some money into the kitty to cover the cost of the various whiskeys, some throw-away tasting glasses, and some munchies (including a haggis, I think.)<\/p>\n

There was one other option for those attending. We were encouraged to bring a poem, or a song, or a reading, that matched the significance of the evening’s tribute to Burns, or to golf, or to both, if you could manage it.<\/p>\n

There were a couple of keeners in the group who arrived wearing full kilts and did a stand-up job of shaming the rest of us with their enthusiasm. Fortunately, after a few warm-up “tastings” we all kind of got into the spirit of things.
\n
I was game to add a special reading to the occasion. At the time, I just happened to be reading a book about playing golf in Scotland called “Playing Through” by Curtis Gillespie.<\/a> Curtis is a Canadian writer who spent a year living in Scotland and playing some of the wonderful courses in the old country. The book is a real treat for those of us who enjoy the rich tradition of golf writing. I recommend it.<\/p>\n

There’s a great scene in the book where Curtis is invited to celebrate Robbie Burns’ Day with a local family. As is tradition, someone read through Burn’s classic “Ode to a Haggis.” But then, the Canadian visitor is asked to read his own toast. It’s written in Burns’ dialect, and when read aloud, the results are hilarious. <\/p>\n

Normally, I’m not much for standing on a rickety wooden chair in front a couple of dozen hooting accented fools. But given enough samples of our wonderful elixir, I am capable of almost anything, I suppose. So after imbibing enough “liquid courage” to be able to stand on that chair, but not enough so that I fell off, I grabbed my copy of “Tae a Ferty,” and adopting my best Scottish brogue, read the passages below. (To truly appreciate this, I recommend reading this aloud, phonetically, letting your best Scoth shine through. If you do it in mixed company, I guarantee, you won’t get through it without cracking up.)<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
\n
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
\n
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
\n
There sterts to stir an enormous wind.<\/p>\n

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
\n
Stert werkin like a gentle breeze
\n
But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
\n
Will have ye blawin’ all over the place.<\/p>\n

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
\n
A’body’s gonnae ha tae pay
\n
Even if ye try to stifle
\n
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle.<\/p>\n

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
\n
Tae try and stop the leakin air
\n
Shift yersel frae cheek tae cheek
\n
Prae tae God it does nae reek.<\/p>\n

But aw yer efforts go asunder
\n
Oot it comes like a clap a thunder
\n
Ricochets aroon the room
\n
Michty me, a sonic boom!<\/p>\n

God almighty it fairly reeks;
\n
Hope I huvnae shit ma breeks
\n
Tae the bog I better scurry
\n
Aw whit the hell, it’s no ma worry.<\/p>\n

A’body roon about me chokin,
\n
Wan or two are nearly bokin
\n
I’ll feel better for a while
\n
Cannae help but raise a smile<\/p>\n

Wis him! I shout with accusin glower
\n
Alas too late, he’s just keeled ower
\n
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
\n
I dinnae feel welcome any mair.<\/p>\n

Were ere ye go let yer wind gang free
\n
Sounds like just the job for me
\n
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s perty
\n
Ower the sake o’ one wee ferty.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Here’s to Rabbie…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today is Robbie Burns Day, (or Rabbie, as the truly enllightened insist) celebrated by Scots and wanna-be’s (like me) around the world. Or so I’m told by various Burns’ sites on the Internet, see here and here. Now, I’m not a Scot. I’m more Irish than anything else, but I do like Scotch whiskey. So […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p88Hib-c0","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/744","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=744"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/744\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1729,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/744\/revisions\/1729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}