{"id":166,"date":"2010-04-11T17:20:00","date_gmt":"2010-04-11T17:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/2010\/04\/11\/grandfather-perspective\/"},"modified":"2016-10-29T05:49:09","modified_gmt":"2016-10-29T05:49:09","slug":"grandfather-perspective","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/2010\/04\/11\/grandfather-perspective\/","title":{"rendered":"The grandfather&#39;s perspective"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lh3.ggpht.com\/_plNK-YE-FJo\/S8IIYOiccTI\/AAAAAAAAAh8\/3SvnmMvWzEo\/Grandfather.png?resize=200%2C247\" alt=\"Grandfather.png\" border=\"0\" width=\"200\" height=\"247\" align=\"right\" \/>I never knew either of my grandfathers. My Dad&#8217;s father died when he was just a year old. Mom&#8217;s Dad died many years before I was born. <\/p>\n<p>For most of my life, it wasn&#8217;t an issue. But now, as I move into the years when I am looking forward to becoming a grandparent, I am more aware of stories of grandparents and their relationships with their children&#8217;s children. I wonder whether my lack of experience with a grandfather will affect how I act as one.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s funny how perspective changes everything. It wasn&#8217;t that long ago that we were warning our kids to be careful. We didn&#8217;t want any &#8220;accidents&#8221; to upset the order of their lives. Now, with all of them safely moving past their teens, we&#8217;re suggesting that this would be a good time to start producing progeny, even if they&#8217;re not settled down. No wonder kids complain about mixed messages.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve always heard about how the grand role is different from a parent. Grands I know joke that the good thing is that you get to hand the crying baby back to the parents to handle. But there&#8217;s obviously more to the relationship.<\/p>\n<p>To be honest, I don&#8217;t know what sort of grandfather I&#8217;m going to be. My own father enjoyed the role but he was not the type to gush about his feelings or let things get too emotional. You weren&#8217;t always sure how much fun he was having. I suspect that he would have become close to his grandchildren as they got older. Unfortunately, that never happened.<\/p>\n<p>I expect that when it happens, I&#8217;ll be stunned by what happens. The birth of our son was like that. I was intimately involved in Heather&#8217;s pregnancy and the preparations for the birth, especially because we were going to be at home. But when Cory arrived, the joy and wonder was unlike anything I&#8217;d ever felt before. Then it happened twice more, with the birth of Jaime and then Kelly.<\/p>\n<p>Parenting in all its forms is always life-changing. You are constantly shaped and transformed by what you do and the results. I hope being a grandparent brings that same delight to my life.<\/p>\n<p>Today I came across a moving article by a Victoria writer, Christine Shaw Roome, who wrote about the <a href=\"http:\/\/lifeasahuman.com\/2010\/relationships\/family\/i-dont-buy-the-argument\/?utm_source=feedburner&#038;utm_medium=feed&#038;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LifeAsAHuman+%28Life+As+A+Human%29\">death of her grandfather<\/a> at the age of 99. She writes about how her relationship with him evolved as she grew into her own life and learned more about his. They had a special relationship. That&#8217;s what I&#8217;m looking forward to.<\/p>\n<p>By the way, the blog that published Christine&#8217;s story is called <a href=\"http:\/\/lifeasahuman.com\/\">Life as a Human<\/a>. It describes itself as &#8220;a lifezine that explores, celebrates and discusses the weird, wonderful, challenging, funny and poignant experience of being human.&#8221; I recommend it.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/lifeasahuman.com\/2010\/relationships\/family\/i-dont-buy-the-argument\/?utm_source=feedburner&#038;utm_medium=feed&#038;utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LifeAsAHuman+%28Life+As+A+Human%29\">I Don\u2019t Buy the Argument: On Losing a Grandparent : Life As A Human<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I never knew either of my grandfathers. My Dad&#8217;s father died when he was just a year old. Mom&#8217;s Dad died many years before I was born. For most of my life, it wasn&#8217;t an issue. But now, as I move into the years when I am looking forward to becoming a grandparent, I am [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":927,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/04\/Grandfather.png?fit=200%2C247&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p88Hib-2G","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=166"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":926,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/166\/revisions\/926"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/927"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=166"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=166"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davetraynor.com\/wp2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=166"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}